Current mood:	unusual
Current music:	Animal Collective- "College"

You don't have to
It's so weird. It's every time we say hello. We give each other these hugs that feel super strong and heartfelt and there's always that look in her eyes-- that concerned "I'm here for you, friend, I love you" look. And it's always when we say hello. She'll then retreat somewhere inside herself and be dismissive and forgetful and so ridiculously frustrating and out of it. And I chalk it up to whatever personal melodrama she might be going through at the moment, and one day she'll snap out of it and be the girl I knew-- a pillar of strength and wisdom, a little ray of sunshine cutting through the drab greyness of the day. But the days pass and it's always the same. And I try to reach out-- to call her attention to it. "HEY. Hey, listen. Hey, I'm here. Don't forget me. I'm your friend. I'm still here. I want to help you. Please realize what's going on." But she says she'll write me a letter and the days pass and she never does. And she retreats to that spot inside her head, and I'm left out again. She doesn't understand that it kills me.